26 Years

In years past, I've spent a lot of time worrying that my birthday wouldn't be celebrated enough. When I was in high school, it usually fell during exam week. In college, it fell a few weeks after school was out, so all my friends were gone. As an adult it usually falls on a work day, so what can you do?

Last year my family and friends threw me a KILLER surprise 25th birthday party and I think it cured me of my birthday anxiety because this year, I didn't care at all.

Which is probably why I had one of best birthdays I've ever had.

I got to party down with my closest friends. I got cards and packages in the mail. I drank way too much. I saw out of town family members. I randomly ran into an old college roommate and her brand new baby.

There was just so much goodness last week. It made for a truly amazing birthday. Happy 26 years to me!

Patheticville

I sent this picture of my desk to a friend the other day because it perfectly illustrates the pathetic-ness of my life these days.
Let's run down the highlights:

a. Bottle of wine
b. Glass of wine
c. Captain Morgan mug full of old bottle return money from the apartment I lived in over a year ago
d. electric toothbrush
e. a bowl of cheese and crackers (apparently there were no clean plates...?)
f. a baby shower invitation for one of my old college roommates
g. a VBS skit book
h. mini dvds I bought on clearance at Target
i. two books for my book club that I'll probably never read because they're "non-fiction" and "biography"
j. an episode of Party Down

Good thing I have my work (both paid and unpaid) to keep me busy or else ALL my nights would look like this instead of just SOME of my nights.

"That Happiness Is Mine"

"I'm not a drug salesman. I'm a writer."

"What makes you think a writer isn't a drug salesman?"
"I'll accept that. Guilty as charged."

--Kurt Vonnegut

"Cat's Cradle"

Whenever I set out to write something, it usually goes one of two ways:

1. I have a great idea. It's really easy to start, but eventually I run into a road block and never come up with a decent ending.

OR

2. I have no ideas. The deadline is approaching. I write something skeletal, throw in a few sight gags and call it a day.

Today I'm facing both challenges. I have a video in the works for Palm Sunday and the script got off to a decent start until I realized there is really no point to what I'm writing.

And Easter is less than 2 weeks away and the service is a blank slate. There is absolutely nothing planned.

Oof.

I always want to plan ahead, but I can really only work under pressure. When do you reach the point where you face the facts, stop trying to plan ahead and just wait till the last minute intentionally? Is intentional procrastination even a thing?

Once again, intentionally or no, I've waited just about as long as I can possibly wait, so I will pick up the tools of my trade and just start writing and hope that something worthwhile shows up on the page.

Action!

So much has happened in the last few weeks.

My youngest brother turned 21. We took him to his favorite restaurant where they didn't even card him.

I started a blog about my roommate's cat (at her [the roommate's] request). I've written one whole entry. Oops.









I went wine tasting with my friends and brother (he was carded several places. I feel better).











And last, but not least, my parent's house sold. It's not necessarily the house I grew up in (we moved there when I was 16) but it's definitely a symbol of "home" here and it's sad to think it will be sold to some other family who thought the house was "OK" but really just wanted the lot.

All I have to say is: they better not touch that fire pit.

"Overkill is Underrated"

Things I learned in Pittsburgh:

1. Never take a Shamrock Shake for granted. They'll be gone before you know it
2. "NO! Big Government"
3. You really can fit a lot of books in a paper grocery bag.
4. There are sometimes boots in your size in the clearance bin. You just have to believe.
5. RomComs are best when interspersed with action movies.
6. I want a beer cave in my house.
7. When you are with good friends, you will never run out of things to talk about.
8. Say no to hash. Unless its butternut squash hash.
9. You can find an entire outfit in the street if you consider a glittery tank and reading glasses an outfit.
10. I miss being close to my closet friends.

Parade of Awkwardness

Two of my friends got married today. I'm so happy for them! The second I heard they were dating two years ago, I knew they were perfect for each other. They're that amazing kind of chill, low-key, drama-free couple that you just don't see very often. I was so excited to go to their wedding.

Too bad when the wedding party trooped down the aisle it was a complete parade of awkward. I knew four of the five groomsman. One was the groom's brother who had a locker next to mine sophomore year (Hi, Todd!). He lives in Florida now and is very orange with spiky hair. It was nice to see him, though. Another was the bride's cousin who goes to my church (Hi, Travis!). He's a nice kid and a total townie like me who works stage crew at LMC and does a lot of community theater.

The next groomsman was a senior when I was a freshman in high school. After he graduated he joined the air force. We wrote letters and dated (briefly) when he was home on leave for a while. Too bad he wasn't quite as broken up with his girlfriend as he lead me to believe. Luckily, she (Hi, Erica!) was a total rockstar about the whole situation and had the good sense to blame him and not me for the cheating. Needless to say, I never needed to see Kurt again. Too bad I did today.

The man of honor was also a senior when I was a freshman. He dated a friend of mine for a bit, but her parents didn't approve of the relationship so they kept it a secret. When he found out I knew about them he sent me a threatening e-mail telling me the terrible things he'd do to me if I told anyone. In retrospect, I shouldn't have felt that threatened by it, but I was 14 at the time and hardly logical. Then I went on to date his brother (Hi, John!) for 2 years. Needless to say, I never need to see Bill again. Too bad I did today.

Still, the happy couple are married now, which is all that really matters. Sorry I had to bail on the reception, guys, but I know you'll understand. I couldn't stand to watch the parade of awkwardness go marching by again.

Yesterday was my dad's birthday and I saw every member of my immediate family, including my wayward missionary brother Dain, except him.
Then, to make matters worse, on Saturday I ate at his favorite restaurant. Betrayal!

I've never used Skype or any kind of video chat, but I felt like if I hadn't been on the road for (a grueling) 4.5 hours on Sunday followed by (a grueling) 2 hour choir rehearsal I would have taken the time to get us set up so we could have talked "face to face".

Long distance relationships are hard, even when they're with family members.

You Get What You Need

When I was drinking one of these on Friday, it was out of frustration. When I drink one tonight, it will be in celebration.

The Detroit job is out. The hometown job is in.

I would be disappointed, but mostly I'm just so happy that the decision is made. Plus, I couldn't ask for a clearer sign about where I should be. I should be here, doing the work I've been doing, only now with renewed vigor. Oh, and a higher salary.

Now I'm just counting down the days till I can buy that new iPhone I've been wanting...

In other news, after months of ignoring it/putting it off, I finally started playing Angry Birds. Its just as evil as everyone says it is. Stay away, if you value your time.

Cheers!

Thumbs Down

I finally heard back from Detroit. They're still interviewing. It's so tempting to take the home town job just to make the anxiety go away, but I feel like I cant give up on this opportunity just yet. Hopefully I'll know soon, one way or another. I really hate waiting.

At least the weather is getting warmer and we've had a few days of sun!

Healthy, Wealthy and Wise

In a recent conversation with a friend, I admitted that I had never read a work of nonfiction unless it was for class.

It was kind of a depressing statement.

So while browsing the discount books on Kindle, I came across My Life in France aka the Julia Child memoirs and decided this was a great way to cheat the system. I could read some non-fiction, that was also non-serious, non-depressing and non-snoozeworthy.

I'm loving every page of it so far, but I'm seriously dreading my next non-fiction reads, which come courtesy of my book club. Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin which makes me want to brush up on my American history before I even crack it and then Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond that makes me tired just looking at it.

I don't think this non-fiction thing will take off for me, but at least I have Julia and Paul.

No word from the Detroit company yet. Things are awkward with the current boss. He wants an answer and I really want to give him one.

You may be right, I may be crazy

I know 2011 hasn't been going on all that long, but this past week has definitely been the craziest week of the year. So far.

I had an interview in Detroit on Tuesday, a new job offer from my current employer on Thursday, a phone interview with Detroit on Friday. Then to top it all off, I got a call from friends with an extra ticket to the Lyric in Chicago for Friday night. Why wouldn't I bail on work at 2:30 to go into Chicago to hear some early era Vagner?


The good news is, no matter how all of this turns out, I will have a new, career launching job, which is incredibly exciting. I'm just anxious to know what my options will be so I can start making decisions.

I'm sure if I actually have a decision to make, I won't relish it quite so much.

But waiting is hard.

Old enough to know, but too young to care

Staring down the barrel of major life change is something people either relish or dread. I'm finding myself in a strange area of indifference. On the one hand, the fear and panic I usually feel in these situations isn't there. On the other hand, the excitement and happiness I was hoping I'd feel in it's place isn't there either. Mostly its just dull anxiety. A mixture of pride (yay! no fear!) and disappointment (boo! no excitement).

Hopefully all the lose end and decisions will be made by Monday and I'll know how I really feel. Until then, I'm just enjoying the winter sunshine.