Parade of Awkwardness

Two of my friends got married today. I'm so happy for them! The second I heard they were dating two years ago, I knew they were perfect for each other. They're that amazing kind of chill, low-key, drama-free couple that you just don't see very often. I was so excited to go to their wedding.

Too bad when the wedding party trooped down the aisle it was a complete parade of awkward. I knew four of the five groomsman. One was the groom's brother who had a locker next to mine sophomore year (Hi, Todd!). He lives in Florida now and is very orange with spiky hair. It was nice to see him, though. Another was the bride's cousin who goes to my church (Hi, Travis!). He's a nice kid and a total townie like me who works stage crew at LMC and does a lot of community theater.

The next groomsman was a senior when I was a freshman in high school. After he graduated he joined the air force. We wrote letters and dated (briefly) when he was home on leave for a while. Too bad he wasn't quite as broken up with his girlfriend as he lead me to believe. Luckily, she (Hi, Erica!) was a total rockstar about the whole situation and had the good sense to blame him and not me for the cheating. Needless to say, I never needed to see Kurt again. Too bad I did today.

The man of honor was also a senior when I was a freshman. He dated a friend of mine for a bit, but her parents didn't approve of the relationship so they kept it a secret. When he found out I knew about them he sent me a threatening e-mail telling me the terrible things he'd do to me if I told anyone. In retrospect, I shouldn't have felt that threatened by it, but I was 14 at the time and hardly logical. Then I went on to date his brother (Hi, John!) for 2 years. Needless to say, I never need to see Bill again. Too bad I did today.

Still, the happy couple are married now, which is all that really matters. Sorry I had to bail on the reception, guys, but I know you'll understand. I couldn't stand to watch the parade of awkwardness go marching by again.